i need to be somewhere else. I live in a extremely nice neighborhood Woodside and ppl think i have the best life ever. But at home she punishes me harshly and lowens my self esteem. I need to get out of this house i cant be with her anymore someone please help me before i kill myself. Actually I couldn’t do that, I would have someone do it for me…PLEASE HELP ME! i have looked all over online i cant find a place that will help me. I need to be out of here.
I red your question carefully!
I am sorry for the suffering that you are going through. I am familiar to the suffering people go through in many ways every day, and how hard and impossible it seems, to cope with Stuff. It is very very hard.
But there is a solution for every situation. we know that there is an answer. this “knowing” is what made you not leave the house and not murdered yourself through another.
From the way you have structured your letter I find you a very intellectual and clear thinking person. You have the potential for a very bright future, when many can benefit from you.
Both these answers you have come up have arisen through desperation, and not clear thinking,
One is running away from a problem with out facing it:
Growing up is hard, you have to face it and overcome, win and be victorious, then you will know how to protect yourself and others from future problems we inevitably have to face.
If you runaway, it will be double hard to face next problem in life.
There is no house in your neighbourhood where there is no pain , tears, hatred, anger, ego, stupidity, and absolute madness! Every one go through this all the time!
I may be on the other side of the globe from you, between us and all around, there are people suffering every single second. if we could hear all their pain, sadness, sorrow, wouldn’t it be an eternal mourning? You are only one among us. So be strong! Don’t budge! Don’t leave home!
Killing your self is so stupid I even don’t want to go there. this is like cutting your nose because you are angry with your face. or biting a dogs leg because it bit you.
So what are the solutions?
CLEAR MIND! CLEAR THINKING! is the answer!
Start sorting out how this problem came to be.
Start from your child hood, did your mom love you? when you were young, and cared protected you, take you to kindergarten, dressed you up, washed , cleaned you, how she looked after you when you were ill, fed, and protected you.
Now what has happened? doesn’t she love you anymore? if not try to find reasons for what made this shift. If you find any love and gratitude to her, try to find solutions so that you can bring back her closer again.
remember in ones life, to loose a Mother is a HUGE HUGE loss. It will be you who will lose a mother. So try to generate more Patience, forgiveness, compassion at any cost.
What your mom is doing is punishes you, but more over lowering our self esteem.
Punishing is a last measure parents, teachers and civil society use.
remember you are left with pain and humiliation after punishment, and your mom is left with guilt and deep sorrow, so both of you are affected by this.
So unless its a physical abuse, and life threatening situation or injury, be strong and take her punishment.
But tell her when she is calm, that you don’t need punishment, but is ready to talk and solve any situation. tell her that you like to understand her point of view, and you like to explain your point of view. And make her understand she does not need to punish you for anything. Show a parent that you are mature, then they will take you seriously, and will treat you as an adult.
For self esteem part, I think, you could handle yourself. let me tell you some thing:
I have very high self esteem, but no one can lower it! someone in power can force me do anything, and even if i surrender my self esteem will not go lower. this is how I feel. Only I alone, can bring my self esteem down. Some time ago, I did a wrong act, as I was doing this action, I felt my self esteem going down, so it was "ME" who lowered my own self esteem. If the same action was done by me forced by another, my self esteem would not go down.
as a closing remark: things are changing all the time, soon your situation will change, and you with it will change. So its important not to do anything you will regret later, if you do you will carry that burden on and on.
I wish you have peace in your heart, and soon your problem will change to better, May there be a time for you to hug your mother again, and tell how much you mean to each other! may you be happy!